Lucky Strikes Cigarettes Presents: Jack Grissom, Private Eye

                               Lucky Strikes Cigarettes Presents:

                                   Jack Grissom: Private Eye

Setting: Radio Studio in the late 1930s. In the upper left corner of the stage on a platform is the Lucky Strikes Orchestra that's getting ready for the show. In the right corner of the stage is a glass booth with several people in it and in front of the booth is a table filled with various objects to be used for sound.

MF/X: THEME MUSIC FOR PROGRAM (SOMETHING LIKE THE SHADOW THEME MUSIC)

Enter Stage Left: Announcer

Enter Stage Right: Jack Grissom who takes position at his microphone

GRISSOM: My father once told me a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but a lot of knowledge is even more dangerous. And seeing as how I'm a private Eye, well, it pays to know everything.

MF/X: MUSIC UP AND OUT

ANNOUNCER: Lucky Strike Cigarettes presents Jack Grissom: Private Eye. But, before Jack's newest mystery continues, remember Lucky Strikes Cigarettes are any good private eye's favorite brand to smoke-SO ROUND, SO FIRM, SO FULLY PACKED, YES, LUCKY STRIKES MEAN FINE TABACO.

MF/X: MUSIC UP AND OUT

ANNOUNCER: Jack Grissom, whose devoted his life to fighting crime in the city of Cleveland, Ohio is still searching for the only thing that matters-finding the person that murdered his beloved wife. Every case he solves brings him a step closer to the truth and the evidence he needs. Following in his father's footsteps, Grissom defends those that no longer have a voice of their own. Tonight's story: Murder In The Third Degree

MF/X: MUSIC UP AND OUT

Enter Stage Left: Derek Henderson and Adam Jackson who take their respective places by their microphones on stage

MF/X: FESTIVE MUSIC IN DISTANCE UNDER DIALOGUE

GROUP: Ab libs festive holiday talking (All on stage can get involved)

SF/X: DOOR CREAKING OPEN, HIGH HEELS ON WOOD RUNNING

(OFF STAGE-RIGHT WING: BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM)

DEREK: She's fainted. Give me a hand here Adam

ADAM: Yes, I've got her. Look, she's covered in blood.

Exit Stage Left: Derek and Adam

MF/X: DRAMATIC MUSIC UP AND OUT

SF/X & MF/X: TUMBLER WITH ICE BEING SET DOWN ON A WOODEN SURFACE, CHAIR CREAKING AND BURNS AND ALLEN HEARD IN THE DISTANCE ON A RADIO

       GEORGE BURNS: YOUR SO SMART. NAME THREE DIFFERENT TYPES OF NUTS     

       GRACIE ALLEN: WALNUTS, CHESTNUTS&

       GEORGE BURNS: THAT'S TWO

       GRACIE ALLEN: AND FORGET-ME-NUTS

       GEORGE BURNS: LOVELY

GRISSOM: (Chuckles at joke) Lauranna would have appreciated that one

SF/X: PHONE RINGING/THEN BEING PICKED UP

GRISSOM: Yeah, Grissom. Where? 65th and Fleet. Yeah across from Mosinski's Funeral Home. I remember how to get there. See you in a few.

SF/X: SOUND OF PHONE BEING PLACED BACK IN CRADLE

       BURNS & ALLEN ANNOUNCER: GEORGE & GRACIE WILL RETURN IN JUST A MOMENT-

SF/X: RADIO TURNED OFF IN MID-SENTENCE

GRISSOM: Not this week I'm afraid. Iva?

(Off Stage, Left Wing): Yes Jack

GRISSOM: I'm going out. Lock the door when you go, will you?

SF/X: SOUNDS OF GRISSOM GETTING HIS HAT AND COAT. WOMAN HIGH HEELS ON WOOD

Enter Stage Left: Iva Spade

IVA: Have I ever forgotten to?

SF/X: SOUND OF A DOOR CLOSING AND ANOTHER ONE OPENING

GRISSOM: Never Iva dearest. Goodnight angel

SF/X: SMACK! OF KISS

Exit Stage Left: Iva

SF/X: SOUND OF CAR DOOR SLAMMING AND CRUNCHING FOOTSTEPS IN SNOW

Enter Stage Right: Thom O'Reily

GRISSOM: Oh hello Thom

O'REILLY: Hello Jack. Didn't expect you so soon. Burns and Allen finish early tonight?

GRISSOM: Cute Thom. No, I didn't stay to hear the last five or six minutes of it. Last time I heard, death trumped everything in this business. Smoke?

SF/X: SOUND OF A CIGARETTE CASE SNAPPING SHUT AND THE CLICK OF A LIGHTER

 

Enter Stage Right: Blackburn

O'REILLY: Now you know I can't have that on the job. Blackburn and Gerber would have my badge for it

GRISSOM: Oh good. So the happy family's all here. And speaking of the devils...

BLACKBURN: Oh great, the comedian's here. Take that darn cigarette out of yah mouth. Your on the job

GRISSOM: (Smugly) And you're destroying evidence by lettin' everyone walk around the crime scene...

BLACKBURN: (ANGERLY) WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!

GRISSOM: Nothing sir. (Under Breath) You heard me you blimy batard

O'REILLY: Batard? Never mind, just be nice to him Jack. Christ sake, it's late

SF/X: SOUND OF GURNEY WHEELS HITTING MARBLE STAIRS AND 2 GUYS HUFFING

       *2 GUYS HUFFING COULD BE GRISSOM AND O'REILLY AT THE MICROPHONES*

       *GUYS CAN BE ANNOUNCER AND SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY ON STAGE TOO*

GRISSOM: Let me get a quick look at him would yah?

GURNEY GUY 1: But...Doctor Gerber said...

GURNEY GUY 2: He said right out to the hearse and not to stop at all

Enter Center Stage (from behind everyone): Doctor Samuel Gerber

Exit: Blackburn

GRISSOM: Never mind. I'll ask Gerber myself (Beat) What do you think Doctor?

GERBER: Oh, good evening Jack. Detective O'Reilly. Hard to say right now. It looks to be a gunshot wound to the chest with possible back exit. Come by in the morning and I'll have a better answer for you. Need a look before we load him?

SF/X: ZIPPER SOUND

GRISSOM: Hmm. Young looking guy, about what twenty five-thirty at the most? Good looking kid too even with that five o'clock shadow. Alright boys, take him away

SF/X: ZIPPER SOUND

Exit Center Stage: Gerber

O'REILLY: What do you think?

GRISSOM: That its too early to be answering that question yet. Where'd they find him?

O'REILLY: In his classroom at his desk apparently grading papers. Room's on the third floor. You want to take a look?

Enter Stage Left Kelly Kidson. O'Reilly and Kelly share microphone, but O'Reilly remains on stage

GRISSOM: Huh. What was it they use to say? Those nun's would always get you-

O'REILLY: Cute. Do you want to see the-

GRISSOM: Classroom. No. You've probably seen everything I'd see anyways. Kid was wearing a wedding ring. Any idea where his-

KIDSON: Where's Clark? Where's my husband?

GRISSOM: Never mind

O'REILLY: Jack, Mrs. Kelly Kidson. Mrs. Kidson, Detective Jack Grissom.                   *Kelly's crying so Jack extends her his handkerchief*

KIDSON: Thank you. You're a police officer aren't you? Like the rest of them

GRISSOM: Not exactly Mrs. Kidson. I'm a private investigator. May I ask you a few questions regarding your husband? It'll help us to figure out who did this to him.

KIDSON: Clark's a good man. He loves...loved his job. Loved the students and even the faculty. There wasn't a mean bone in his whole body. I don't want you to think that he wasn't a good man detective.

GRISSOM: I wouldn't dream of it Mrs. Kidson. (Beat) You're expecting

KIDSON: Yes. It's only been four months, but Clark was so excited when I told him. I'm not sure whose more excited: Clark or our daughter Shannon. Are you...are you married?

GRISSOM: Yes. But no children. You must be very happy.

KIDSON: We were thank you. Clark was so loving and kind. I loved him and despite how much it hurt his mother, he loved me back. (starts crying again) I just don't know who would kill him.

GRISSOM: We'll figure it out Mrs. Kidson. I promise you that. I'm not proud that I have to ask this, but what was your relationship like with his co-workers and his boss?

KIDSON: In regards to what detective?

GRISSOM: Were you friendly with them?

KIDSON: I was, like any wife would be with her husband's co-workers and boss. Adam and Derek are Clark's oldest friends...

       *Kelly realizes what Jack was referring to*

SF/X: SLAP!

KIDSON: How dare you ask me if I was having an affair with anyone. I wouldn't dream of it. Excuse me

Exit Stage Left: Kelly

GRISSOM: Ouch. I guess that's what I get for asking

O'REILLY: (Laughing) It sure is. Not to suave there anymore with the ladies huh?

GRISSOM: (Angered) Why don't you finish up here. I'm going home. Good night.

MS/F: DRAMATIC MUSIC UP AND OUT

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, before the second half of tonight's story continues, Jack Grissom has an important reminder for you.

GRISSOM: That's right I do. When doing my job on the streets, one has to look his best, drink only the best and when it comes to smoking, especially with the ladies, only the very best will do. That's why I smoke Lucky Strike Cigarettes. So Round, So Firm, So Fully Packed. Yes, Lucky Strikes Means Fine Tobacco. So go on and pick up a pack today and while your there, tell um Grissom sent you.

MF/X: DRAMATIC MUSIC UP AND OUT

ANNOUNCER: Jack Grissom has just arrived home when his phone rings

SF/X: PHONE RINGING IN THE DISTANCE

GRISSOM: Hello? Oh it's you JC. Well how are you? To what do I owe this phone call in the middle of the night?

(OFF STAGE) JC: I heard you were handling the Kidson death. Nice kid. I know his family pretty well

GRISSOM: And you decided to call me up at three o'clock in the morning to tell me this why?

JC: Because I thought you'd like to know that I was just awaken by the widow at two o'clock this morning asking me if I'd handle the funeral

GRISSOM: Well again, thank you very much for this lovely three o'clock in the morning phone call-

JC: (Cutting Jack Off) I also got a phone call from a man who didn't identify himself informing me that the entire funeral would be paid in full and that he would be providing all of the cars and protection needed for the funeral. Is that a better reason for waking you up?

GRISSOM: It's getting better. Other then the time, what made it so unusual?

JC: He knew where I was living. He knew that Sophia is pregnant again and even told me what school my girls attend. Knew the numbers to my safe and that he can get into the funeral home through the garage because of the door leading into the morgue. He knows too much about Sophia and the girls. Niech to szlag

GRISSOM: You've well beyond made your point JC. I'll send a car over to watch the place so you can get some sleep. I'm sorry I doubted you

JC: Don't worry about it. And don't bother sending over a car. It won't do any good. Whoever he was already got into my head. Goodnight Jack

SF/X: BUZZING SOUND OF DEAD PHONE LINE BEFORE BEING HUNG UP. SOUNDS OF CHAIR CREAKING, LIQUID BEING POURED INTO A GLASS WITH ICE AND BEING SET DOWN. PHONE BEING PICKED UP AND CRADLE BEING HIT A FEW TIMES

GRISSOM: Get me police headquarters. Detective O'Reilly please

OPERATOR (OFF STAGE): Your party sir

GRISSOM: Hello Thom? Jack. Listen. I need an unmarked over at Mosinski's. Somebody's been threatening JC. (Beat) I DON'T CARE WHAT BLACKBURN HAS TO SAY! Just get a car over there

SF/X: PHONE BEING PLACED BACK INTO THE CRADLE. SOUND OF A DRAWER BEING OPENED AND SOMETHING BEING SET DOWN ON THE DESK. A GUN CHAMBER CLICKS OPEN AND BULLETS ARE PUT IN. CHAMBER'S CLOSED AND PLACED BACK ON DESK.

GRISSOM: Okay Ricky. Time to hit the sack. In the morning, we go to visit our beloved mistress

SF/X: CLICK OF A LAMP BEING TURNED OFF. (BEAT) KNOCK AT DOOR. GUN HAMMER CLICKING INTO PLACE TO FIRE. DOOR OPENING AND A SWITCH BEING TURNED ON.

O'REILLY: Jesus Jack. Blackburn's gonna have my badge for your trouble tonight. Don't even look at the crime scene, get slapped by the widow and have me post an unmarked outside of a funeral home because he was threatened. Now I find you sitting in the dark (beat. SF/X: EMPTY BOTTLE DROPPED INTO METAL TRASH CAN) drinking

GRISSOM: Actually I was sleeping when you broken in

SF/X: CREAKING OF CHAIR

GRISSOM: And I didn't look at the scene because you already seen it. As for the unmark, the police department still believe in their motto Protect and Serve right? He called concerned, and I issued an unmark to protect him. Before you say anything else though, answer me one question

O'REILLY: What?

GRISSOM: Why do you need me? This appears to be a simple homicide case.

O'REILLY: It was until an hour or so ago. He had ties to the mob Jack. Blackburn thinks it was a mob hit.

SF/X: SOUNDS OF SQUEALING TIRES IN STREET BEFORE THE SOUNDS OF TOMPSONS BEING FIRED AT GLASS. THERE IS A SOUND OF BREAKING GLASS BEFORE THE LAMP IS HEARD HITTING THE FLOOR WITH THE TUMBLER OF ICE AND MORE BREAKING GLASS. BOTH GRISSOM AND O'REILLY ARE RETURNING FIRE BEFORE THEY RUN OUT OF THE APARTMENT AND HEAD FOR THOM'S CAR

GRISSOM: Quick Thom! We've got to catch them

SF/X: MORE GUN FIRE IS EXCHANGED BETWEEN THE TWO SPEEDING CARS SQUEALING TIRES ARE STILL HEARD

O'REILLY: I swear I'm going as fast as I can Jack...

SF/X: LOUD BOOM FROM FRONT TIRE BLOWING AS WINDSHIELD IS HIT BY BULLET. WHILE JACK WATCHES OTHER CAR SPEED AWAY. JACK SLAMS HIS HAND AGAINST THE DASH BOARD

GRISSOM: They got away Thom...Thom? (Beat) You've been shot...

MS/F: DRAMATIC MUSIC UP AND OUT

ANNOUNCER: Jack Grissom will return in just a moment. But remember, Lucky Strike Cigarettes: SO ROUND, SO FIRM, SO FULLY PACKED, YES, LUCKY STRIKE MEANS FINE TOBACCO. And now, Jack Grissom

GRISSOM: Crime never pays and the Cleveland mob, is about to learn just that

ANNOUNCER: This program has been a dramatized version of one of the many copyrighted serial stories which appears in JACK GRISSOM, PRIVATE EYE comic strip found in your local newspaper. All the characters and all the incidents named are fictitious and any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Next week, same time and same station, Lucky Strike Cigarettes will bring you the next part of tonight's exciting adventure. Good night and remember-Lucky Strike Cigarettes means fine tobacco 

SF/X & MF/X FADE OUT

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